


Boys Will Be Boys

by elvirakitties



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Complete, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-11 02:48:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7873174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elvirakitties/pseuds/elvirakitties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry, Severus and Tom are given permission by their mother to play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The Great Hall was full and loud. Harry glanced over at Severus who was watching the room. He hid a quick grin as he heard Hermione say "after dinner, we need to start our revising on Charms."

Ron groaned but before either could say anything a figure in black appeared in front of the Head Table. It was dressed in flowing black robes and carried a long sickle. "Hadrian Antoninus Pius Augustus." The figure said, pointing a bony finger toward Harry Potter and everyone could hear the steel that laced the voice. 

"Hi, Dad." Harry started waving his hand at his father. He looked around and smirked at them. He enjoyed the shock and confusion on their faces. "I thought you would have been here sooner. The crazy one certainly likes to send people to visit you."

"Don't you hi Dad me, young man. When I said go play I didn't give you permission to play in one of the universes. Do you have any idea how hard it's going to be to fix? I am going to have to call a family meeting. You know I hate them and not to mention that your mother is going to kill me." 

"I asked first. Mum said it was fine as long as my brothers agreed to join me and they did." Harry answered. "May I stay for dessert? The food here is good. It's not as good as the food at grandma and grandpa's but it's good."

Ignoring the question the figure known so far as Dad asked "where are your brothers? I was just looking for you. I didn't know they were here also."

"Hi Dad." A voice from behind him said. "He did ask Mum. We were there when he did. She said we could play here."

The figure turned. "Severus Lucius Septimius Augustus, I would have thought out of the three of you, you would have been the one to stop them from going too far."

"I was going to, but Dad, this world is just so crazy. That old guy." Severus pointed to Dumbledore. His tone and voice now sounding like the teenager that he really was. "He has the whole magical world believing he is a Light Lord and this prophecy that Tom created for a lark is true. You should see they just take his word on everything."

"Where is your brother?" The dad figure asked as he was pinching the bridge of his non-existent nose. "I will want the complete truth from the three of you then I will determine how grounded you are." He looked around the room and began to plan how to cover this mess up. 

"Now see here, I don't know what is going on but this prank will stop. Severus, sit down, Harry cancel whatever spell you are using." Dumbledore ordered from his throne. His eyes were twinkling yet his voice was firm.

"Tom Trebonianus Gallus Marvolo Augustus, I summon thee." The dad figure intoned, His voice echoing around the room and venturing out of the room and Hogwarts and into the magical realm.

Suddenly people screamed, others pulled out their wands, as Lord Voldemort appeared in the Great Hall, with his snake face. "Hi, Dad." Lord Voldemort grinned. "Harry had the best idea." 

The dad figure groaned. "Get rid of that glamour. Really, Tom, I expect this type of stuff from Harry but he actually got the two of you to agree to it?"

"At first we didn't, but this universe was doomed. Mum gave us permission to play because as she said that we couldn't mess it up." Tom paused and looked around the room. "He has them actually believing that dark creatures are dangerous. That old man over there." He pointed to Dumbledore. "He has them believing that dark magic is dangerous. He almost killed the world once because the magic was so out of balance. Sev and I had to call cousin Gaia to get it back to being balanced." Lord Voldemort said as he changed his appearance back to his normal self. Everyone was looking at a sixteen-year-old version of Tom Riddle.

"Dad, they really believe snakes are evil. They have this whole thing here where if you don't conform to what they want you are evil. It's crazy. Severus is the head of the house of the Snakes, and everyone believes they are evil. Severus really had to work on making sure people didn't pick on them." Harry walked over to Tom and leaned into his brother and received a partial hug from Tom. 

"What?" The dad figure responded. "What do you mean snakes are evil? Dark creatures are dangerous. I think I need your mother here for this, as I believe a lot of cleaning up in going to be needed." 

"See Severus I told you Dad would fix it." Harry stuck his tongue out, earning a few laughs from around the room. He could see Severus wanted to stick his own tongue out but didn't want to lose the image of being a tough guy professor. 

"I didn't disagree, Brat. I just thought we would have more time to fix it ourselves. Tom was driving the old fool crazier than he already was. He really wants to make the prophecy happen."

"He does. Who would have known that when we decided to take a line from a bunch of different prophecies he would latch onto it." Tom shrugged his shoulders. He was ignoring the gasps their words caused. 

"Boys." A female suddenly appeared. "What have you done?" Said the figure. "Mortis, darling, you are scaring the mortals with that form." 

The woman was a dark haired beauty. She was tall, had curves in the right spots, a peaches and cream complexion that she gave to Tom and Harry. Severus clearly his nose from his father, they all had their mother's dark hair but Severus and Tom got their mother's hair texture. Harry clearly got his father's messy mop. Now that the glamours were dropped they could see that all three boys received the same sky blue eyes of their mother with their father's cheekbones. Severus' nose returned to its normal size. "Now, what have you three done to cause your father to be upset?"

"We don't know. We did what he said. We asked you if we could play here and you said yes." Harry answered. 

"Moirai they interfered with this universe and we will need a family meeting to fix it." Mortis told her.

"Not really, Dear. You see I allowed them to come here because in this universe, they don't exist because Dumbledore killed them and this universe needed their Harry Potter, Severus Snape, and Tom Riddle. So I allowed them to come here and fix it. They were doing a great job of it too. If they hadn't interfered this universe would have died. They saved it." She smiled at her sons. "Now your playtime is over, you have school tomorrow, and it's getting late."

"Mum." All three whined. It was summer and they wanted to continue enjoying the holidays and not have classes with the family. 

"Your grandfather is expecting you very early. He said something about a volcano." 

The three boys exchanged a look. "No, no, no. I am not going to allow the three of you to go with my father so that you can play with Time again. You know Time and my father will see who can cause the volcano to explode first." Mortis said. "How we ended up with three boys who everyone in our families loves I will never figure out. I mean, honestly, Time's kids are brats. Time doesn't even want to spend time with any of them. No one wants anything to do with Ares or Apollo. The muses' terrors are still under my father's punishment for that Pompeii stunt. We won't go into your sister's kids idea that Atlantis would be better at the bottom of the ocean." Mortis stopped his rant as he realized everyone was listening and he would have to fix what they just heard.

"Darling, Destiny's child didn't mean to make extra work for you with Atlantis but there are now mermaids because of it." Moirai smiled, waving her hand in figure eight designed, she turned and faced Dumbledore. "I fixed this world, within the boundaries that my children have set up. Mr. Dumbledore for your actions regarding the treatment of this world, you are stripped of your magic. You will be placed in the muggle world."

"Nut house, Mum. He needs a jacket that will allow him to hug himself. Ask Severus and Tom, he's crazy." Harry told her. 

"I have to agree." Severus and Tom said at the same time.

"Very well." Moirai waved her hand and Dumbledore was gone. Everyone started yelling. "Do cease all this noise." She waved her hand and everyone was quiet. "What my children have said is true. Mr. Dumbledore almost destroyed this world. Since my children are leaving, I am going to allow you to do what you want with this new information. I do hope that because, as Fate, I changed your destiny. Destiny might be a tad upset. You have your warnings, do heed them."

"How will we find out the information we need to continue on?" Minerva spoke for the first time. She had been listening closely and knew that Dumbledore had to do something if what they are saying is true. She doesn't doubt them. 

"You will find it on your new desk, Headmistress." Moirai told her. "Boys, home."

The three boys disappeared. "I am leaving you with the memory of this event. Show it, use it but more importantly learn from it. Magic needs dark magic as well as light. You can't have dark without light. Nothing can't survive light without the dark." The bony finger swept the room. He held out his arm and Fate and Death faded from view.


	2. Another World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How it started.

Harry entered Severus' bedroom. "Brat, you could have at least attempted to knock." Severus lifted his head up from the book he was reading.

"It was important. Dad and grandfather are arguing about that volcano, again." Harry took a seat on the bed, leaning against the bedpost.

"Why? I mean I know Dad was busy since it wasn't to happen. It's not the first time that Grandfather and Uncle Time have taken us to volcanoes for them to see how quickly they could get them to erupt." Severus said.

"They actually fixed it. Dad called Uncle Time, mother and Aunt Destiny, they fixed it. Uncle finally agreed to stop after mother and Aunt Destiny agreed to stop yelling at him. Pompeii got it again. I think we are down to only about two dozens worlds were Pompeii doesn't get smothered in ashes." Harry sighed. "They were arguing about another universe where that crazy old man was destroying magic again. Mother and Gaia want to let it just die. Grandfather and Grandmother want to take us over the summer for us to get some more lessons."

"Grandfather's lessons. I wonder if Dad ever found out what those lessons were last year? I still don't think he has confirmed that it was Grandfather that started that fire in Chicago. If Dad had his way, he would keep us in the schoolroom forever, without the educational ways of our family." Severus saw Harry try not to laugh as they thought of what their various family members taught them. "So, baby brother, what is your grand idea?"

"I thought we would borrow a page out of Ares and Hercules playbook." Harry grinned "I am sure we can get a spare cloak from Dad."

"What lesson? The constant battles they have with each other? Apollo had to intervene last week because Ares started a war in Thebes to get Hercules into trouble." Severus was thankful for his two brothers. He never wanted to have the conflict that the rest of the family seem to have with each other. They had already discussed, numerous times, how dysfunctional their family was. Harry commented more than once that the word fun was in the word dysfunctional for a reason.

"Actually I was thinking the three of us could have a bit of a contest. Let's see who could gather the biggest number of followers. Get them away from the old man and the snake face one." Harry grinned. "What do you think?"

"Better idea, would be for the three of us to team up, gather as many followers away from the old man and snake face. We take them both out. Tom's silver tongue, your crazy plans combined with my ability to create anything potion wise, would aid us." Severus grinned. 

"Harry's plans with me taking the place of snake face, Severus turned spy, and Harry as a student. We used the combination of Harry's luck and uncanny ability to find someone's weakness. My silver tongue with the ritual and spell knowledge. You, my brother with your skills at reading people and potions we would be able to get the magical beings on our side easily." Tom said as he leaned into the room, from the window.

"Which world is it?" Severus asked. "We will need to get someone in the family to give us permission so Dad won't ground us forever."

"We will get Mother to agree. We know Uncle Time will toss Tom's poem into the past for us. She already thinks the world is a write-off. I am sure we ask her, she will say yes. It's not like we can ruin it." Harry grinned at his brothers. Already knowing how to get Uncle Time to place the prophecy. "It will get us away before we get dragged into summer lessons."

The three brothers grinned and began to plot how to get their mother to agree. How to get the cloak from their father. They also had to make sure no one would look for them for a bit. 

_________________________________________________________________________________

"This is it?" Harry looked around the small house he was now being subjected to. He looked at the cupboard under the stairs. "This is going to change." He sent a message to his brothers to tell them what was going on with the Dursley family. 

They had discovered the Harry Potter of this world had been dead for a number of years, the crazy old man still didn't know that. This world Harry Potter's Hogwarts letter hadn't arrived as of yet and wouldn't for a few more days. Harry got busy, revamping the Dursley family's memories. 

Meanwhile, Severus:

This world Severus raised an eyebrow as he looked at a younger version of himself that appeared in his living area. "Since I know I don't have a child, may I ask who you are?"

Severus grinned, he was going to like this version of him. "I am you, but from a different alternate reality. I am here with my brothers to fix your world."

"Indeed." Severus replied. When the younger version of him, summoned tea and took a seat, without a word being said, Severus curiosity gave way. "Why are you here?"

"To fix magic. I need to take your place at Hogwarts. The crazy old coot is killing magic and we are here to fix it. If we don't, your world is doomed." Severus explained. 

"Indeed." He took a sip of tea, made exactly as he liked it. "Why should I believe you?"

"I don't believe I asked you to. I told you the facts. Now we can decide what to do from here. You can remain here, working on your potion research. I will provide you with some texts for you to research more potions, while I work at Hogwarts. You can keep the income. Just be ready to take over when my father and mother arrive." Severus pulled out two books from his robes. He tossed them on the table in front of him. "There are some old potions that have been lost to time. Your world needs them, so you work on that. My brothers and I made sure your world doesn't get destroyed."

"What do I get out of it? Besides credit for these potions." Severus asked.

"Your mark will be removed, I need it. My brothers and I can speak the language of snakes, so I can transfer it." The younger Severus answered. He knew this Severus would agree. He knew the man hated spying, hated teaching, loathed his mark and wanted to create potions.

"Deal." Severus replied.

Severus grinned. This plan of Harry's was going to work. 

Meanwhile, Tom:

Tom landed in the throne room of Slytherin Castle. The castle was clearly empty and needed a good cleaning. He waved his hand and two house elves appeared. He gave them quick orders and headed to where the office of the Dark Lord was located. This version of the Dark Lord was in a wraith form. He needed to find the wraith form. 

He found a map. He laid it out on the desk and cast the spell then he dropped some of his blood onto the map. He grinned as the map showed him to the area outside of Little Hangleton. He sent a quick message to his brothers as he apparated to where the wraith was located. Since the wraith wasn't fully Tom, he couldn't apparate directly to him like Severus did. 

Tom stepped into the rundown house, saw Nagini chasing a rat around the room. He saw the small wraith form of this world's Tom Riddle and sent a stunner to it. When the stunner hit, Nagini went to attack him but stopped when she saw who it was. ~Tom?~

~Hello, Nagini. I need your help.~ Tom told her.

~Help?~ Nagini slithered close to Tom. 

~Yes, first kill the rat. He is useless. Second, we have a lot of work to do, but I need to handle that version of me first so I need you to guard outside after you get rid of the rat. After that, we are going to be working on getting my followers together.~ Tom sent another stunner when the rat started to run.

~I get rid of rat and will guard outside. You aren't going to kill the small one?~ Nagini knew the Tom she was talking to was more like her original master the small one who was similar to her master.

~No, I am going to fix him. It will take a while but he will be fixed.~ Tom explained. They would need a sane Tom to take his place when they left here. They would be gathering all of the man's Horcruxes and piecing him back together. For right now, Tom was going to put him into a magical healing coma. He was going to have to tell his brother this was far more interesting than volcanoes. 

He got to work. He found the ring with the lovely protective curses on it. He removed the curses and removed the Horcrux from the ring back into the now deeply asleep Dark Lord. He would have to have either Harry or Severus get the one from Hogwarts. The rest he should be able to gather. The diary one was floating around someplace. He was going to see if Severus could create a potion or maybe he would need to create a ritual to summon the Horcrux. 

Horcruxes weren't something the three of them had much knowledge of. They would make sure this world was fixed before they left. He shrugged, they certainly couldn't make it worse off. This was going to be fun. 

Tom grinned as he knew time wise they had almost a year, here. At home, it would only be a few weeks before anyone would wonder where they were. They all acknowledged it would be their father who would wonder where Harry was. Severus and Tom, since they were older, usually went away for a few weeks at a time, while Harry was Dad's boy and usually went on reaping jobs with him. So their father would notice Harry was missing first. The best part was that they had their mother's permission to be here. Mother was much scarier than their father. Having their father mad at them was something that happened a lot. However, their mother, no, they never wanted her upset with them. 

Tom sent another message to his brothers, letting him know he started on the Horcrux hunt. He frowned a bit about Harry's message but knew Harry would handle the Dursley family. They also had a spare Severus to aid them. Yes, their plans were working out wonderfully.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 2 of what they did before their father came looking for them.

Harry arched an eyebrow as Petunia demanded that he get outside and mow the yard, again. He mowed it yesterday. He had been doing chores each day. He generally didn't mind them but this list and the growing demands were getting very old and fast. 

"Make your son do it. He hasn't moved in three days unless it was to yell for more food or sit at the table for his fifteen meals a day." Harry started to walk away. 

"How dare you, you little Freak." Petunia swung her frying pan at Harry.

Harry turned and let his magic out. "Enough." Harry knew the muggles were to hate him. He had removed a lot of the wards that Dumbledore had placed on the house. He couldn't remove them all because Dumbledore would have been alerted. "I don't know who you think you are. I'm here until the end of the month. No longer. My Hogwarts letter should arrive. Until then pretend I don't exist. I will manage on my own." 

Petunia looked like she was about to faint. They had made sure to never even mention the word magic. Dudley was staring at Harry from his spot at the kitchen table. He was still stuffing his face full of food. Dudley started laughing. "You are so going to get it. Dad is going to kill you." 

Harry turned his gaze to Dudley. "Listen here, you little whale. I will say this once and only once. If any of you so much as even look at me wrong, I will make sure it is the last thing you ever do." Harry morphed into a little version of his father in his Reaper mode. "Understand me?" He hissed out.

Dudley dropped his spoon and the smell of urine filled the room. Petunia ran to her son. "Yes, yes, we won't make any trouble. Just get out of here."

Harry morphed back to himself. "Certainly, have a nice day." Harry saw Petunia's purse on the small table. He opened it and removed some money and her charge card. "I'm going clothes shopping. Be back in time for tea." Once outside, he sent a message to his brothers.

_______________________________________________

Severus and his alter-self had been enjoying researching the different potions that were in the books that Severus had brought with him. His alter-self was very eager to learn everything in the books. Since a lot of the books were in parseltongue, Severus was teaching his alter-self how to speak it. 

Severus had to sneak home and get a few potion ingredients as they weren't available in the wizarding world of Britain any longer. He returned with enough for them to experiment with and some seedlings for a garden at Hogwarts. His alter-self explained how Dumbledore would view the seedling if they planted them at Hogwarts. 

So his alter-self suggested they plant a potion garden at his home. They left Hogwarts for a few days to reside at Spinner's End. Severus and his alter-self improved the potion lab and were working on a variety of potions before Dumbledore summoned them back for a staff meeting. 

Severus was sitting in a staff meeting. So far all the man talked about was how Harry was coming to Hogwarts. He had been spending a lot of time with his alter-self. His alter-self had informed him about the "plan" for protecting something this year. His alter-self wasn't a fan of Harry Potter but he understood why. His alter-self explained it simply. Dumbledore wanted him to treat Harry Potter with disdain and always mentioned the boy's father when doing so. 

"So he keeps reminding you, basically, how you almost died by the four idiots. He wants you to treat Potter badly to keep you as his spy. He is expecting you to protect Harry but also make Harry hate you?"

"Basically. He believes I will do as ordered and that I can't see his plots." His alter-self wasn't under any illusions that Dumbledore wasn't crazy. Severus only worked at Hogwarts for protection and to keep his Vow of protection for when Harry returned to their world. 

Severus had laughed a bit at the time. His alter-self explained about the series of protections for whatever they were to be protecting. Severus had sent a message to Harry and Tom regarding the issue. Tom had sent back a short letter explaining how his alter-self was seeking the Sorcerer's Stone and how Dumbledore planned on moving it.

The two Severus knew that Dumbledore was friends with Nicholas Flamel and wondered how he was going to convince the man to let the stone be removed from Gringotts to Hogwarts. They didn't doubt Dumbledore's abilities to in doing so. They just wished they could have been present when it happens or already happened.

Severus was jarred a bit when he felt Pomona rise from her chair in front of him. He realized the meeting was over. Severus really wasn't impressed the man didn't cover anything but Harry. Severus began to doubt the man's sanity but the adventure was great so far.

____________________________________________________________

Tom was cursing his alter-self, he hated caves. He was standing outside of a seaside cave where his alter-self had once terrorized two of his fellow orphans. He opened the door with his blood offering. He hated caves as he cursed again. He slowly entered the cave and saw an enchanted boat on a bed of water with Inferi in it. He knew most wouldn't have seen the Inferi but he was the son of Death and Fate. 

Tom didn't bother to use the boat. He just walked through the water and as the Inferi merged on him, he sent them to his father. It would keep his father busy and buy them more time. 

He reached the little island with just a gold goblet. He ran some scans on the goblet. He rolled his eyes at the potion listed. Honestly, a simple potion that caused pain and horrific visions to the drinker. His brother would have crafted something unique. He looked down at the goblet and smiled. He summoned a few different Inferi. Tom proceeded to pour the potion over them. Nothing was going to happen but it got rid of the potion so that it wouldn't refill. When the potion was gone, the locket dropped to the ground. 

The locket was made of heavy gold with a serpentine S in glittering green stone inlay on the front. It was held on a long silver chain. The locket had one clasp.

Tom cast another scan. He frowned a bit. There wasn't any protection on it. He looked over his shoulder to the corpse. "I bet it's a fake. You did something to it." Tom opened the locket and a note was lying there. He opened the note. 

"To the Dark Lord  
I know I will be dead long before you read this but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match you will be mortal once more.  
R.A.B."

Tom looked at the skeleton. "I thought so. Well, Mr. Black, you made it a bit harder but I will find it." Tom closed the locket and headed home. He alerted his brothers to the newest development. This was certainly shaping up to be a fun adventure.

______________________________________________

Harry followed Hagrid around and made a mental note to return to buy the stuff that wasn't the list he would need. He liked Hagrid but the man was a rabid fan of Dumbledore and Gryffindor. "You were in Gryffindor?" Hagrid had been a bit surprised to find Harry waiting on the steps when he arrived. 

"Yep. Proud of it, I am." Hagrid puffed up a bit.

Harry knew what was happening now. Dumbledore wanted to make sure he went to Gryffindor. Well, he would discuss it with his brothers but it seemed like the way to go. He had already made arrangements to remain at the Leaky Cauldron for tonight and the rest of August. Harry was glad he suggested this adventure.

**Author's Note:**

> Moirai-Goddess of Fate, in Greek Mythology  
> Mortis-Death


End file.
